Define ‘cheese.’
Feb 21st, 2007 by Jimmie Malone
Through the years wedding trends come and go. Some things tend to be fads, like having a slide show or putting disposable cameras on your tables. Others things change at more of an evolutionary pace, like what sort of overall feel couples desire for the atmosphere. Because the entertainment contributes so heavily to your atmosphere, it’s natural that what you’re looking for out of your entertainment is quite different from what you might have wanted were you planning a wedding 10 years ago.
In 1997, interactive was the buzzword. Line dances were hugely popular and almost all DJs were using inflatable props and hawaiian leis. The garter and bouquet was a big deal. Cake-smashing was the norm. It’s not that these things were inherently bad, it’s just that there are a lot of DJs out there without a lot of creativity. Before long, everybody was doing the same things and so they became stale and boring. Worse than that, plenty of underqualified, untrained DJs were out there performing old routines very badly.
Thus was born the idea of ‘cheese‘ which can be defined as anything done at a wedding, usually facilitated by the entertainment, which is hokey and/or overdone. There’s cheesy music, which can be anything from YMCA to Love Shack; there are cheesy line dances, like the Macarena; and there are just plain cheesy entertainers… you know the ones, the kind that don’t seem to know when to shut up and think that if they get a laugh they are doing great, even if the laugh is at the expense of the couple being honored on their wedding day.
So how do you avoid ‘cheese?’ Well, first off cheese doesn’t have to be bad. It is possible to do something kind of hokey like the Chicken Dance and still have fun. Everything in moderation is part of the key to the equation. Your opinion matters most and if you love a song or a wedding tradition then you should include it, cheese-be-damned. There are also some great alternatives to what would be considered cheesy.
Start with the music: there’s just so much great music out there that there’s no reason you should have to hear the exact same music at every event. You get about 20 songs an hour, which works out to a whole 60 songs for the dancing portion of the average wedding reception. There is just no limit to the different ways you could pick 60 songs out of the entire history of music to entertain your guests. In an upcoming podcast I’ll be offering up a top five list of ‘non-cheesy’ songs to get the party going.
Then there are the dances. Call me kooky, but I like some of the group dances. It’s all in how you present them. Line dances are also very effective in getting your guests dancing when nothing else seems to be working. Still though, if you don’t like line dances then toss ‘em altogether or limit the number of dances and which ones. The Cha Cha Slide is quite popular in recent years and not so overplayed as to be tiresome yet.
There are also alternatives to some of the wedding traditions which still encourage group participation. If you’re not crazy about the idea of a gawdy garter and bouquet ceremony, a nice alternative is to present your bouquet (and perhaps a bottle of wine) to someone special at the wedding. You can choose someone that you would like to spotlight, like a parent, or you could do something like the anniversary dance. That’s where all of the married couples share a dance and your DJ asks them to step off to the side of the dancefloor based on how long they’ve been married. The last couple remaining is the couple that has been married the longest. In addition to presenting them with your bouquet and a bottle of wine, I’ll usually ask them for some words of advice so that you may share a long marriage as they have.
As for the entertainer, well… this is just something you’re going to have to put a little effort into when you are selecting one. Meet with the actual person who will be performing and make sure that their personality is in line with the style of entertainment you envision at your reception. Ask them specific questions like what they will do to get guests involved and dancing. The unfortuate truth is that a lot of bad DJs have created such a negative public image of what I have personally chosen to do for a living that many couples are just hoping for someone who isn’t going to embarrass them. Don’t settle for ‘merely not embarrassed.’ Find a DJ who is going to really help contribute to a flowing, fun and memorable reception.
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